All that was given to Sasuke on Suigetsu's part were curt words when he was leaving or arriving and he spent most of the time locked in Clive's old room or outside - somewhere, doing the only thing he could do. He trained until he was exhausted, dragged himself home and tucked himself away.
At face value, Suigetsu was undeniably an extrovert, chattering on and on for hours with endless topics that seemed to bubble forth from nowhere; they were all of the things he couldn't say when he was imprisoned in that water tank in some desolate part of the underground system. No one spoke to him. Rarely, Sasuke would visit, even Karin on occasion, but meetings were few and far between.
At heart, however, these experiences changed him. Forced him into introversion. Spending a healthy amount of time with others easily depleted his stamina for conversation, no longer able to carry on for hours without some sort of private recharge.
Maybe that's what caused him to hide after their verbal fight on the beach. He had things to think about, too many things to process and - frankly - he hadn't been this depressed since he lost his brother. When his days seemed to grow a little bit darker with every passing hour.
But Sasuke had been right. Suigetsu needed him to complete his goals, to use him as a makeshift crutch in place of Mangetsu. And it burned him up inside.
So he had to stop sulking. It was hard, he'd told Sasuke. To pick yourself up and stop letting the past loom over you like some kind of ominous raincloud. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and it'd never been fully reconciled - he'd been torn away from the catharsis he could have achieved to be a human pincushion for some "greater purpose".
It scared him, attempting to move on. Suigetsu really didn't know what would become of them and fuck- yes, he was terrified. But all he could really do was try again. A frog in a well would know nothing of the ocean if he didn't try to leap out to see it for himself. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He stands in the doorway segregating the kitchen from the living room, leaning against the frame. Violet eyes steadily watch Sasuke, a small dent between his brows; obviously something like this is difficult for him.
[ For Sasuke, his buried personality of the past was very different. Faced with constant criticism he had developed into an introvert, craving contact and approval but finding it too difficult to ask for. There was always that thought in the back of his mind; one day, one day he would do something for his father or his mother or his family that no one else had before. Even if it was painful then, eventually he would be able to say with certainty that they were proud of him.
Too much on a gambit for the future.
Killing his family's enemies should be nothing for him, then, and yet still he has that selfish hesitation. As a child Sasuke had cared for people, liked them, perhaps until his family had corrected just who he was allowed to care about. ]
Suigetsu. [ He remembers the first time he visited Suigetsu, illuminated only by the sickly lights from various scientific instruments placed around the room. He'd thought at the time that it had a claustrophobic feel to it, even outside of that tank. An entire world in one cylinder, for years.
He knew the initial distrust in Suigetsu's voice when they spoke because it was so much like his own. Questioning whether or not he should be open with this stranger... It was also the sound of someone who had learned from loss. In that underground, cavernous pit there was some kind of comfort in knowing that there was another he could possibly connect with.
All of it would remain unsaid, of course, because they knew better. They were shinobi, and once-bitten twice-shy at that. ]
People are dictated by their bonds, huh... I mentioned your brother and you reacted. [ With all said and done they'd still managed to get themselves in this position. Teammates? Yes. Friends? ... Sasuke would never want to apply that label. All that would do is endanger Suigetsu in the long-run. He doesn't want to go through something like that ever again, for himself and for Suigetsu both.
Finally Sasuke turns to meet Suigetsu's eyes, back to the counter where he'd been attempting to construct a simple trap. He steps closer then, raising one hand... only to place it firmly on Suigetsu's shoulder. ]
I don't require an apology from you. [ And that hand slips away as if it were nothing. ]
[ The accusation isn't meant to sound like one -- it's spoken in a quiet tone, more to drive the point home than to antagonize the Uchiha further. But there's truth behind it; there's truth in everything Suigetsu says, it's skirting around topics that he has grown quite adept at.
He knew he could never call Sasuke his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was cause further turmoil in their leader's mind by forcing that kind of selfish, unneeded title on him, screwing that idea into his mind so that when it came down to crunch time, the end of his goal, he had no weight bearing down on him.
And Suigetsu wasn't sure he could handle another let down -- they weren't friends. But maybe after all was said and done, perhaps in the future... ]
Haa. [ He forces a bright smile, turning his face toward his captain. ] Good, because that was painful.
You were also the one that said that some problems cannot be solved, when referring to my own. I will perhaps feel a little better knowing I've at least warned you of that much. [ It's out of his hands. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
THIS SHIT HAS NOT ENDED and wow i had a lot of feels so don't fret over matching this, DEAR LORD...
All that was given to Sasuke on Suigetsu's part were curt words when he was leaving or arriving and he spent most of the time locked in Clive's old room or outside - somewhere, doing the only thing he could do. He trained until he was exhausted, dragged himself home and tucked himself away.
At face value, Suigetsu was undeniably an extrovert, chattering on and on for hours with endless topics that seemed to bubble forth from nowhere; they were all of the things he couldn't say when he was imprisoned in that water tank in some desolate part of the underground system. No one spoke to him. Rarely, Sasuke would visit, even Karin on occasion, but meetings were few and far between.
At heart, however, these experiences changed him. Forced him into introversion. Spending a healthy amount of time with others easily depleted his stamina for conversation, no longer able to carry on for hours without some sort of private recharge.
Maybe that's what caused him to hide after their verbal fight on the beach. He had things to think about, too many things to process and - frankly - he hadn't been this depressed since he lost his brother. When his days seemed to grow a little bit darker with every passing hour.
But Sasuke had been right. Suigetsu needed him to complete his goals, to use him as a makeshift crutch in place of Mangetsu. And it burned him up inside.
So he had to stop sulking. It was hard, he'd told Sasuke. To pick yourself up and stop letting the past loom over you like some kind of ominous raincloud. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and it'd never been fully reconciled - he'd been torn away from the catharsis he could have achieved to be a human pincushion for some "greater purpose".
It scared him, attempting to move on. Suigetsu really didn't know what would become of them and fuck- yes, he was terrified. But all he could really do was try again. A frog in a well would know nothing of the ocean if he didn't try to leap out to see it for himself. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He stands in the doorway segregating the kitchen from the living room, leaning against the frame. Violet eyes steadily watch Sasuke, a small dent between his brows; obviously something like this is difficult for him.
For his entire life, he apologized to no one. ]
Sasuke.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcxi5t3C0n1r0rzlj.gif
Too much on a gambit for the future.
Killing his family's enemies should be nothing for him, then, and yet still he has that selfish hesitation. As a child Sasuke had cared for people, liked them, perhaps until his family had corrected just who he was allowed to care about. ]
Suigetsu. [ He remembers the first time he visited Suigetsu, illuminated only by the sickly lights from various scientific instruments placed around the room. He'd thought at the time that it had a claustrophobic feel to it, even outside of that tank. An entire world in one cylinder, for years.
He knew the initial distrust in Suigetsu's voice when they spoke because it was so much like his own. Questioning whether or not he should be open with this stranger... It was also the sound of someone who had learned from loss. In that underground, cavernous pit there was some kind of comfort in knowing that there was another he could possibly connect with.
All of it would remain unsaid, of course, because they knew better. They were shinobi, and once-bitten twice-shy at that. ]
People are dictated by their bonds, huh... I mentioned your brother and you reacted. [ With all said and done they'd still managed to get themselves in this position. Teammates? Yes. Friends? ... Sasuke would never want to apply that label. All that would do is endanger Suigetsu in the long-run. He doesn't want to go through something like that ever again, for himself and for Suigetsu both.
Finally Sasuke turns to meet Suigetsu's eyes, back to the counter where he'd been attempting to construct a simple trap. He steps closer then, raising one hand... only to place it firmly on Suigetsu's shoulder. ]
I don't require an apology from you. [ And that hand slips away as if it were nothing. ]
GAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[ The accusation isn't meant to sound like one -- it's spoken in a quiet tone, more to drive the point home than to antagonize the Uchiha further. But there's truth behind it; there's truth in everything Suigetsu says, it's skirting around topics that he has grown quite adept at.
He knew he could never call Sasuke his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was cause further turmoil in their leader's mind by forcing that kind of selfish, unneeded title on him, screwing that idea into his mind so that when it came down to crunch time, the end of his goal, he had no weight bearing down on him.
And Suigetsu wasn't sure he could handle another let down -- they weren't friends. But maybe after all was said and done, perhaps in the future... ]
Haa. [ He forces a bright smile, turning his face toward his captain. ] Good, because that was painful.
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Suigetsu. I'll say it once.
Don't get involved in my personal matters.
It's only going to frustrate you.
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So I ask myself, what's one more thing? I understand you better than most people anyway.
[ He laces his fingers behind his neck, taking on a nonchalant pose. ]
If you need help, I already told you I'd give it.
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I never heed them. We got a good thing going on here -- like symbiosis, ne, Sasuke?
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Something symbiont in a high-risk environment is in twice the danger, you know.
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It might just be that your life was stagnant for too long. Mine's changed enough.
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You're a sadist also.
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I possess some of those qualities too. I just haven't wanted to face it before. I'm starting to accept it more and more...
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A quality like that usually just gets in my way. You should feel fortunate.
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Yeah, I think that wouldn't be too hard for me.
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